


Complicated

by Fedora Of Adorableness (TheTimelessChild0)



Series: Omovember 2020 [16]
Category: White Collar
Genre: Omovember 16, Omovember 2020, Urination, shy bladder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:56:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27581681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTimelessChild0/pseuds/Fedora%20Of%20Adorableness
Summary: It really wasn't.
Series: Omovember 2020 [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1987816
Kudos: 2
Collections: WC²





	Complicated

It was a day like all before. Neal got up from his desk scattered with files, and strode casually out of the office to use the bathroom. Little did he know Peter had the same impulse. 

The Suit took his appropriate place two urinals away, leaving a comfortable gap. 

“So, how’s the...” he began, but was stopped by Neal raising a finger on his free hand. 

“There’s no talking,” Caffrey stated, mildly annoyed. He had to close his eyes to get back into the _flow_ , so to speak.

He hurried back to his desk and handed Peter a file to look at without ever raising his head.

* * *

Neal spun around lightly in his chair. Then he slapped his hands on his desk. And tapped his fingers. 

Peter was familiar with his proclivity for being restless. Even the way he would tap his pen on the desk while thinking, and subsequently writing. Which was why, when the gap between thinking and writing widened, alarm bells went off in his head. But only for a brief second. It was then, that he noticed the bouncing leg.

He flicked one eyebrow upward, tilting his head to the left, caught off guard. This was new.

He approached his consultant. 

“Neal? Do you need to go to the bathroom?” he asked simply. 

Caffrey made an ambiguous noise, returning to his writing.

Burke sighed. This was not the length he wanted his CI to go, in his work ethic.

“The mortgage fraud will still be here when you get _back_ ,” he assured the con man with a smile.

“I know. Files don’t have legs,” Neal rolled his eyes.

“No, they don’t. But _you_ do. So, tell me why you’re not _using_ them, to get to where you need to _go_?” Peter tried again.

“Jones had a cup of coffee an hour ago,” Caffrey stated, as if it explained everything.

“All the more reason to hurry,” Burke quipped.

“Not sustainable,” Neal shot it down.

“What’s that mean?”

“We’re in the dead zone. Any moment now could be the one,” 

Peter spotted a hint of worry in the man’s tone and facial expression.

“You’re avoiding him,” the agent realised.

“If I was avoiding him, would I be here?” Neal rebutted.

“You’re scared to _pee_ next to him,” 

“I’m not scared,” Caffrey objected. “It’s just, y’know.. _difficult_. Slash impossible,” he sighed.

“What’s the problem,” Peter inquired.

“It’s complicated,” he warned.

“Try me,” 

“Little low on brainpower,”

Jones approached them curiously.

“What’s going on over here?”

“Nothing. Don’t move. Caffrey; move,” Burke commanded. Neal ran as instructed.

“Still can’t do that, huh?” Clinton noticed.

“No. Why do you think that could be?” Peter invited his input.

“Well, don’t you remember? His arrest. I was the one who took him to the bathroom when he started _squirming_ ,” Jones smirked, reminiscing.

“And he’s been awkward when meeting you in a bathroom context ever since,” Burke muttered. “That still sounds weird to me,”

“Plenty of things surrounding Caffrey sounds weird. Hasn’t bothered you before,”

“Hasn’t bothered _him_ before either,” Peter remarked, increasingly concerned. This was not going away, and would continue to be a problem unless they dug deeper.

* * *

Neal came back, deliberately ignoring Jones still standing near his desk. He sat down and got back to work. Then he couldn’t stand it anymore.

“What?” he questioned their continued presence.

“You still haven’t answered my question,” Peter pointed out.

“I told you, it’s hard to explain,” Neal tried to get out of it again.

“Worried we won’t get it? Or is it because you don’t get it either?” Jones suggested.

“Let’s find a private spot and figure this out,” Burke encouraged.

“No thanks,”

“Neal, I already know it’s because of what happened during your arrest. And I already understand. Needing to go while in custody is awkward for everyone, least of all having to ask the guy trying to lock you up for good. 

“Okay; several things wrong there, especially the part where I resent Peter’s profession. I sent him birthday cards,” Caffrey corrected.

“Come on. You really wanna know?”

They did.

* * *

“It’s not as simple as latent embarrassment from the time I peed in front of you. Well, partially. But that embarrassment was in of itself not just caused by having to ask. You’ll recall that I _didn’t._.,” he reminded them.

“You were embarrassed that I caught you out,” Jones speculated.

“More that I was stupid enough to let that happen in the first place,” Neal amended.

“What, you’d rather have a bladder infection?” Burke argued.

“That shouldn’t even have been a risk,” he scoffed.

“Why _didn’t_ you ask?” Peter posed a relevant question.

“Well, not because you arrested me. Because you were a Fed. You remember, I wasn’t exactly the appropriate level of scared when we first met, or when you had Jones put the cuffs on me,” Neal reminded him.

“But then, we were in a room together, with me having to pee _and_ having to tell you in order to fix it. It was only embarrassing because I knew I’d given up an opportunity that would have been easier,” Caffrey commented.

“When?” Peter registered an increasing interest.

“Ok, actually there were several,” he admitted.

“Let’s take it from the top, what’s the first one, preceding the interrogation?” 

“That one’s obvious, isn’t it? We literally walked right by a bathroom,” 

“Because you didn’t ask to use it,” Burke clarified.

“Well, I sort of expected you to stop and ask _me_ ,” Neal defended.

“Why would we ask?” Finally Peter was proving Neal right.

“I was a person in custody, most people don’t prepare for being arrested, even though I _absolutely_ could have. I figured since you couldn’t know for sure whether I needed to go, you’d check. Same goes for asking as soon as we entered, or when we were in the car,” 

“That’s why you were being so silent. You thought we’d stop,” 

Caffrey shrugged. “That still doesn’t make any sense to me. No way has no one needed to pee just after they’ve been arrested,” he reasoned.

“You’re right. And they’ve made sure we knew about it,” Peter mentioned.

“Don’t feel bad about that though, man. You had just been arrested, not exactly the kind of thing you’d want in your permanent record; _suspect stayed silent except when he said he had to pee,_ ” Jones acknowledged.

Neal laughed. “It was more the fact I’d just been caught in a trap. I’d already compromised my intelligence in _one_ aspect,” he remarked.

Suddenly, all the pieces fell into place. 

“And there we have it. The background hiding in a convoluted web of awkwardness,” Peter noted. “You didn’t go before you left,” he guessed.

“No, I did _not_ ,” Caffrey confirmed shaking his head.

“And why was that?” Jones chimed in.

“I didn’t need to go then,” he mentioned.

“Yeah, story of most people’s lives. The need can’t be predicted like the shift changes of security guards or updated alarm systems and codes. It jumps out at you sometimes. Your bladder does what it does. It fills and makes you uncomfortable until you empty it. You just got extra unlucky, landing in the crown jewel of inconvenient circumstances,” Clinton justified.

“I guess, at the end of the day, I’ve been subconsciously resenting you when I was really mad at myself. With no good reason for either. You saved my dignity in the end. What was left of it, anyway...” Neal noted.

“You know what might make you feel better?” Peter introduced.

“Knowing that the best-case scenario ain’t all that different,”

“How come,” it was Caffrey’s turn to be curious.

“Even if you had gone before you left, we were keeping you in that room for hours, before _and_ after Jones took you to the bathroom. The break would’ve still been called for, just sooner. You’d have felt the first hint of it while sitting across from me. And I know you well enough to know, that wouldn’t have stopped you. You probably would’ve looked for a segway to bring it up, but you _would have_ brought it up. Or am I wrong?” Burke checked.

Neal smiled at the information. “No. You’re right; if I only needed it a little, I definitely would have told you firsthand. I knew you were gonna keep me for a while, so I’d be all too aware that it would only get worse; that the only option for taking care of it was telling you about it. No matter how awkward it still would’ve been to _confess_ ,” Caffrey quipped.

“Hey, then at least we’d have gotten _something_ out of it,” Jones remarked.

“If I run and you can’t find Kate, I can assure you, a big gulp will work just as well.. _honestly_ ,” Neal proposed, sounding perfectly serious. Before breaking into laughter.

* * *

History repeats itself. Neal was standing in front of the urinal, and Jones was right behind him. Or adjacent, anyway. 

“Take your time,” he remarked indifferently, washing his hands.

Suddenly, a small stream shot out. Neal let it be. When it increased in strength, he took deep breaths, and waited until he was sure he was empty. It felt better than it had done in a long time.

Peter wondered what took him so long and he had just said that you can’t rush _perfection._

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next time Jones walked in, Neal took another deep breath. It took half a second but pee inched forward again, and the stream resumed all the same. He wasn’t rushing it like he normally did when cutting it close to Jones’ own break.

He was just letting it happen, in its own time, at its own pace. It took a little longer, but he didn’t care. It beat urinary retention.

The End.


End file.
